Thursday, December 21, 2006
1. You can eat poo; you can fling poo, but don’t strap poo to your feet jump out of a helicopter and expect to live.
2. A poo in the bowl is worth two in the colon.
3. Space and time will stop when poo hits the fan.
4. Food has but one purpose, to be eaten and converted into poo.
5. Contrary to popular belief, the poo of a bull is no less credible than the poo of any other living creature.
6. Poo exists in the past and the future, but it lives in the present.
7. If you can imagine a world without poo, it would be just as easy to recreate a world incognito with itself.
8. Does poo exist where there aren’t any animals?
9. Life is obscured by poo.
10. Poo doesn’t take crap, it is crap.
11. Poo at the bottom of a wishing well, used to be a wish.
12. Poo comes from within, never without.
13. Poo doesn’t make a rich man any wealthier, only happier.
14. An old wise man once said to his pupil; “lightning crashes over water only when clouds are overhead.” The pupil replied, “I have to poo.”
15. Poo comes in many shapes, but all in perfect unison.
16. If you go to a merchant and request to trade poo for an apple, he will laugh at you. However if you threaten to throw the poo at him he will gladly hand over the apple to avoid being stoned with poo.
17. Poo is like a mirror.
18. A poo martini with a little umbrella in it still tastes like poo, but it has a little umbrella in it.
19. I poo, therefore so do you.
20. I am human, I poo.
21. If you never poo, you will surely perish.
22. Look at your poo, you’ll see yourself.
23. Like fire, poo can be our best friend, and worst enemy.
24. I poo, you poo, but do we all poo?
25. Poo is waste, but don’t waste poo.
26. The grass is greener where there’s poo.
27. Potent food means potent poo.
28. What’s good for the poo is good for the body.
29. Many races, one poo.
30. Make yourself at home, poo on everything.
31. A blind man although he cannot see can describe poo with immaculate detail.
32. In order to respect yourself, you must first respect your poo. In order to respect others you must first respect their poo.
33. Poo shows no reflection.
34. If you walk down a street grasping poo in your hand, people will look at you with repugnant looks of disgust. If you lie on the floor with poo on your clothes, those same people will give you money.
35. The poo of the saints is the same as the poo of the sinners.
36. Don’t judge a man until you have seen a mile of his poo.
37. We only fear poo because we don’t understand it.
38. Poo always resists and never fights back.
39. There was once a large spider monkey that lived high upon the tree canopy; he threw poo at everyone.
40. Poo is not a toy, but a tool.
41. There is no need to sharpen your poo into a spear; poo is a weapon in itself.
42. Poo, its what’s for dinner.
43. Poo, nature’s fertilizer and appetizer.
44. Just poo it.
45. Poo, next stop future.
46. If you build a wall with poo, nobody will climb it.
47. Poo, proof that God has a sense of humor.
48. When people poo, they put it into a bag. You are that bag.
49. Poo answers to no man, woman, or child.
50. You can learn a lot from a man by scrutinizing his poo.
51. Poo isn’t interested in the future, it has already seen it.
52. Poo battles globalization.
53. Poo never lies.
54. Poo tastes better with red wine.
55. Half a poo is better than no poo at all.
56. Even the busiest man in the world, takes time to poo.
57. Poo happens.
58. Poo is always contemplating about everything and nothing at the same time.
59. Although sometimes unilateral, poo is never biased.
60. Hockey would be much better, if they used poo instead of a puck.
61. A blind prophet once told the king that a war will break out unless he changes his ways. The king grew frightened, so he changed his evil ways. The years passed the now transformed benevolent king, and no war occurred. The blind prophet came once more several years later and said; if you do not change your wicked ways a horrible war will break out. The king cried out in outrage; “what do you mean, I am the kindest king this kingdom has ever known!” and he sat down and ate a hardy dinner of poo.
62. Stars are in the sky, dirt is on the ground, poo is squishy.
63. The bell rung, the poo was gathered, everyone met in the center of the town.
64. When clouds precipitate poo, then we will truly need umbrellas.
65. When in Rome, poo as the Romans poo.
66. Behind every cause, motive, and answer, lies poo in some way shape or form no matter how minimal.
67. A poo necklace attracts more attention than it’s worth.
68. A man sits down at a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a poo on the rocks.” The bartender says, “this isn’t that kind of bar.” And winks at him when nobody else is looking.
69. When poo collides it isn’t pretty.
70. Be like poo.
71. A man went into his doctor’s office and said, “I haven’t poo’ed in three years.” The doctor said the man was wrong, that he just doesn’t notice it. The man replied, “I guess that is why my house smells so bad.”
72. Poo is made from the best stuff on earth.
73. A koala climbed to the top of the tree only to find poo.
74. The golden hen poo’s golden poo.
75. Bo knows poo.
76. No matter if it sinks or floats your poo will never judge you.
77. Poo is lighter on the moon.
78. Birds of a feather poo together.
79. Nobody listens until you throw poo.
80. When eating poo, use a knife and fork--- you don’t want to look uncivilized—do you?
81. If you teach a monkey to poo, make sure not to teach it how to throw.
82. Life is like a game of chess, only replacing the pieces with poo.
83. Poo only smells acrid to the man with a keen sense of smell.
84. Nothings more intoxicating than poo.
85. Poo is nature’s answer to everything that isn’t poo.
86. Mathematicians weigh their poo, and graph it.
87. Pyromaniacs light their poo on fire.
88. Poo flows downstream, past the flowers, under the bridge, through the trees.
89. Like a fine wine, poo only gets better with age.
90. It is easiest to poo sitting down. Take a load off while taking a load off.
91. Foolish is the man that compares food that is not to his liking with poo, when that man has never tasted poo.
92. Poo can choke a donkey.
93. The grass is greener in the presence of poo.
94. Poo’s own insolence is its worst enemy.
95. If poo weren’t meant to be magnificent, God wouldn’t have made every creature able to poo.
96. Good and bad things can come from poo; which occurs is a decision all must make.
97. A megalomaniac has no time for poo.
98. Poo has no time for megalomaniacs.
99. The ruptured poo extracts from within.
100. There once was poo, there now is a tree.
101. Inanimate objects convey meaning through nothingness, but that very nothingness is filled with a content of fulfillment of everything living or dead. Just like poo.
102. There is poo at the bottom of the ocean.
103. Where there is no life, there is no poo.
104. A poo’s chastity is with its purity; it doesn’t exist.
105. There is poo in the middle of the most arid desert.
106. First there is poo, then there is no poo, and then there is poo.
107. Twenty two hours is two hours shy of a holiday filled with poo.
108. In a circle of poo there is no beginning.
109. Poo is very tenacious; its hobbies are its life.
110. The Great Wall of China is visible from a spaceship orbiting the moon, the poo that the astronaut forgot to flush is also visible from within the ship.
111. People love, people die, people poo.
112. Are love, death and poo all the same?
113. Poo is always invisible behind closed eyes.
114. Creation probably wasn’t too fun, perhaps that’s why animals poo.
115. Poo knows no limits.
116. Poo survives in the matrix, only its digital poo.
117. Poo tastes like chicken.
118. When poo falls from the sky it is either a sign of the apocalypse or an airplane with a hole in its sewage tank flew overhead.
119. Like people, poo comes in all shapes and sizes.
120. You can’t return poo; it tastes too acrid.
121. Life is like a poo filled with a creamy strawberry center.
122. Don’t fight with poo, it results in constipation.
123. Anything’s possible in a relationship with poo.
124. Toilets are like club med in the world of poo.
125. Never envy a neighbors poo.
126. Stand on your toilet seat and you are high on pot, stand on your poo and you are high on life.
127. Poo makes it possible.
128. Think globally, poo locally.
129. Poo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
130. A bottle of red a bottle of white, a steamy pile of poo.
131. A drifting poo sticks to land.
132. Poo—slippery when wet.
133. A nomadic poo wanders aimlessly, until it finds a job.
134. Never eat more than you can poo, never poo more than you can eat.
135. The 13th poo is always evil.
136. When searching for the truth, wear the poo goggles of knowledge.
137. Welcome to our L, notice there is no POO in it. Lets try and fix this.
138. There are three things you can count on in life, death, taxes and poo.
139. Poo never hits the fan; it lightly taps it.
140. Advice for happier cows: less mooing, more pooing.
141. I’ve got a fever, and the only cure is more poo.
142. The lotus cannot grow when planted in silver and gold, but plant it in poo and it will bloom.
143. There is no need for haste while making waste, poo takes time, do not rush to the flush.
144. Like snowflakes, no two poos are alike.
145. Robots cannot be trusted, because they cannot poo.
146. Poo owes you one, but just one.
147. The foolish man may claim that the Shitsu is the hound that produces the best poo, a wiser man may say that it is the Poodle that poos the best, but we all must truly realize that the poo of all dogs is equally magnificent.
148. Doody was poo's childhood nick-name.
149. Poo exists everywhere and all the time, it is simply waiting for the right conditions to manifest itself.
150. Poo can become energy, and energy can become poo, but poo cannot be destroyed.
151. It is not possible to simultaneously determine the position and momentum of poo.
152. Poo has no fear of the flush.
153. Poo, it comes from nowhere and goes nowhere.
154. Don't be fooled by shampoo, always use real poo.
155. You can not step in the same poo twice.
156. The poo you took in the morning is not the same, nor is it different from the poo you take at night.
157. To take a poo, and to make a poo is the same thing.
158. It is far easier to carry a heavy load of weight on your back than it is to carry a even a small load of poo in your colon.
159. Life is what happens in-between poos.
160. If life exists on other planets, poo exists on other planets.
161. Cherish every moment; we do not know which poo will be our last.
162. Asparagus has no effect on poo.
163. The phrase “eat poo and die” was never intended to be an insult. It is actually a mistranslation of an ancient German manuscript that read: “Eat poo and the.”
164. Poo killed punk rock.
165. Poo early, poo often.
166. We are all flies on the giant poo of life.
167. Poo jokes were funny 10 years ago, but since time is nothing but an illusion, they are still funny.
168. Don't poo on your own door step.
169. Can one man ever truly know his poo?
170. Satellites can see poo from space.
171. Emo kids poo various shades of gray.